Hi Believer...
Thank you for the encouragement and realistic approach. I appreciate that.
I did actually take the Elvis comparison as you did but it would have been poor form of me to say so myself so thank you for pointing that out.
I didn't think Guest had attacked my character in the first place, so don't know where you are coming from there. As I keep saying, I actually liked Guest's post for the most part.
I took Ray up on his comments merely for the subtle alteration to people's perceptions his words could have had. I see a lot of connections in everything. You wouldn't think a snowball thrown could cause much damage but suppose it was the direct reason for an avalanche? Knock on effects concern me like that so I wanted to nip that in the bud straight away.
Similarly, my moment yesterday was not from the tactless remarks alone. Mere criticism doesn't have that kind of power over me. I'm not thin skinned. It just managed to slip under the radar and bring back many painful memories all at once. So, the power of Guest's comments was merely amplified by my own self doubts. I mean, I was actually insulted on the street the other night to my face but it made no difference to me and I even had a comeback for them. Yesterday, I had a moment of vulnerability. I think that's allowed once a decade or so, isn't it? The moment has long since passed and I'm all better now.
To my knowledge, my friends here didn't realize I had an 'issue' at all about my appearance. These last few posts from me have served as a kind of confession concerning that. They just didn't like that I felt bad, I'd say, as I'm usually known for being the positive person to cheer OTHERS up, not the one who needs cheering up himself. They were sweet to stick up for me but I feel it was unnecessary for them to take things to personal attack levels.
Am well aware of the importance of image in the industry as yet another component of the method for success.
Understand, I am not hurt by the criticisms of my performance that night in the least. The judgement of me as an overall package based on that night is a premature one. Hear and see me give my all in a performance in at least better circumstances (like on an actual stage rather than on carpet, level with the audience with thick cables restricting my dance moves and the angles the audience could view them from if I moved) and THEN make an assessment. Better yet, reserve the judgement till you've seen several performances in different surroundings and gauged the reactions. Guest had no way of knowing I was just relaxed and going through the motions that night so I don't blame them for their assumptions. I didn't have the hair all done up like I normally would for a comp. I was dressed rather casually and didn't change outfits for the second song. I doubt Guest saw my performances of Switch and Sweet Child O' Mine after the comp or else limiting me to the realm of an Elvis impersonator would seem mighty strange indeed given the man never did hip hop or hard rock. It was just like any other night out for me because I wasn't much interested in the prizes when I found out what they were. Had it been a thousand bucks or so in cash up for grabs, it would have been a very different me that Guest saw. I don't say that out of ego or unwillingness to accept the truth. I say it based on track record. I HAVE done those things in the past and have earned a reputation as a result and yes, even won comps. It's a no brainer really: put in the effort, achieve the results and vice versa. I was just out for fun Wednesday night and karaoke was not my primary focus of the evening.
Thanks again, Believer for your comments and advice (which I knew for myself anyway but ta all the same for taking the time to say something like that. I appreciate it).

Guest...
Sorry you have been on the receiving end of my friends' barbed comments.
I liked your post overall. There were things I felt were a little misguided as stated in the post to Believer above but I agree with your assessments of the evening with perhaps the exception of the girl who came 2nd. I liked her. I say 'perhaps' because I missed a fair bit of her first song but did enjoy her second one.
As for my momentary breakdown, like I said, it has been a LOOOOOONG time since that has happened and I am thankful that it did because it helped me realize something had been holding me back and I had been unaware of it - which is a revelation in itself given I am usually acutely aware of my inner psychology. I'm not seriously messed up by it or anything so don't fret. Just be careful with other (more sensitive) people is my advice.

el barto...
Happy birthday, mate! Am unsure if I can make it tonight but if I do, it will be my pleasure to buy you a schooner, cheer you and your partner on and nice to see Angelo again. Damn that guy makes me jealous. Anyone wanting the whole package should check him out. Am yet to see him dance but he looks and sings so damn good, who CARES if he can move?
Is he a pro, el barto? If not, then WHY not??? If he has the ambition, I don't see any reason for him to not become a star.
Submitted by Johnny Burrows on 13-09-2007

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