Sting Makes Karaoke a Dirty Word
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Sting calls American Idol 'televised karaoke,' Simon Cowell says it's not. Who's Right?

Simon Cowell has taken his final bow on the finale of this season’s American Idol as the Idol crown passed to yet another sleepy, plain vanilla crooner with all the personality of a used napkin. This begs the question, with its fallen ratings and inexplicable voting outcomes; think Taylor Hicks over Chris Daughtry, Kris Allen over Adam Lambert- what hath become of the venerable Idol that gave us, Kelly Clarkson, and Carrie Underwood? So what’s wrong with Idol?
There are many theories that look to decode the causes of Idol’s slow death. Some say it’s all about the judge drama – or lack thereof, others blame the well-adjusted contestants, which don’t make good TV. Sting weighed in on this mystery months ago when he commented that Idol and its British counterpart the X Factor were nothing more than “televised karaoke . . . a soap opera which has nothing to do with music.” He pushed the knife in deeper when he claimed that these shows “put music back decades,” encouraging the degradation of artist development. We wonder if he has a point.

Simon made his case in response to Stings’ damning critique suggesting that Sting has spent far too much time in his ivory tower, making him insensitive to the hopes and dreams of young singers everywhere. In Simon’s view, at least he is affording kids the opportunity to become artists. Something that Sting has taken for granted. Cowell even invited Sting on to the show to be a mentor, but Sting is not likely to ever accept.

But Sting is not alone in his use of the karaoke metaphor .How many times on Idol have we heard a judge say to a contestant that they sounded “karaoke”? Simon and Randy would be the biggest offenders. One thing is for sure, when the judges say “karaoke”, they never mean it as a compliment, and neither did Sting when he publicly called Idol and its British counterpart a glorified karaoke show, much to the chagrin of Simon Cowell.

Don’t Blame it on Karaoke

Idol may suck for many reasons, but whether or not the show is “televised karaoke” is a red herring. Karaoke is as karaoke does. There is good karaoke and there is bad karaoke. Rihanna sneaking in a couple of tunes at L.A.’s Geisha House is good karaoke, Connie Chung rocking the mic; bad karaoke. Great singers have to start somewhere and they all don’t get to debut at the Met. So here are two quick notes to both Simon and Sting on why they need to stop worrying about whether this genre of reality talent shows is karaoke or not and instead give the people what they want; interesting artists and great music.

Dear Sting,

You are like 100 years old, karaoke may not be cool to you but it is to many millions of people all over the world. In fact, the very people who like to “karaoke” are the ones that are watching those dreaded talent shows you make fun of, and oh yeah, they buy music too. Since the previous century – in which were born – the music industry has changed dramatically, and the risk and investment needed to develop an artist has increased exponentially. When you were fronting for the Police on my grandma’s old black and white television, people either had to catch you on the radio or pay up for the vinyl to hear you whine about girls standing too close to you. These days it is too easy to get a copy of song for little to nothing, that means that in order to make money, record companies have to focus on promoting acts that appeal to a mass audience, not quirky little pre-punk outfits like yours. I know this sucks, but Simon is just cultivating artists that have a chance at making money once all the bills are paid. By the way, I never hear The Police at karaoke.

Dear Simon Cowell,

See the first two sentences of my letter to Sting. Having said that, it is obvious that your role as judge requires you to critically evaluate young, amateur talent and help mold them into solid cash machines pop stars. In doing that, you have to be honest, and if they sound like the average Joe in a karaoke bar, well, you have to tell them that, because the reality is that the vast majority of karaoke singers are not recording artist material. But lets call a spade a spade, American Idol is a glorified karaoke contest; its just looking for the crème de la crème of karaoke singers. You select a bunch of amateur wannabe singers and make them sing other people’s song’s in front of a crowd who picks the winner; sounds like a karaoke contest to me. But the truth is that it takes a lot more work to make it as a recording artist then it does being a successful karaoke singer. It takes heart, soul, personality, patience and drive. So, while karaoke should not be a dirty word – as Simon and Sting both treat it as- it does have its limitations, the kind that most of us are happy to live within.
Submitted by David on 09-06-2010

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